Ultradee

ALL WAY TUMBLR-ING

2009-11-30T09:01:00.000-08:00

Im done blogging.

Unless i feel like blogging i blog.

Now i shall all out tumblr-ing.

& tagging here is still available.

With love D.

www.blacknails.tumblr.com

Sometimes people find that it's so hard just to say goodbye.

2009-11-28T13:21:00.000-08:00

Everything just falls again upon me, Slap me before its too late.

Maybe it was just a mistake that i can forgive you like that. Im not yet sleepy. Wonder why. Hiyerlah. Waiting for Zimah to reach Liy's crib. Over night here last minute, since it was already late. Yesterday, was fun though. And even sweet. (Scroll down for more info) So yah. Everything was okay today. Nothing much. Can say that i didnt get to sleep for 24 hours already. Or more. But i manage to take a nap for about 30 minutes. Hear some one talking on the phone and the tv with Mr and mrs smith was on without anyone watching it. 6.09 am. Not yet sleepy. I dont know what problem i have, but yah. This is an issue lately. Insomnia, what people might call it? Tomorrow morning going off early. Hetty coming over to my place. Okay. Im facing an akward moment now. So tolerate. Im just purely bored. So, Competition coming up. Yes, im going to all out. And since my parents already understand what im going through. Then things should be okay (: Alhamdullilah. & Liyana basterd. Ask me to watch a malay ghost movie and one of the parts, a women aborting child by herself. I dont know why i feel a tingle pain at you-know-where. Haiyalah.

Still, for more updates- go to tumblr.

www.blacknails.tumblr.com

Much Akward, D love.

DANCE EXPLOSION; more pictures shall update.

GO liy's facebook for more.

Let the pictures tell the story.

Aww. & again, view tumblr for more(:

Im just pissed, like im the tiny one who no one recognize but then expects you to do everything.

2009-11-27T09:24:00.000-08:00

Im like being pushed here and there, listen to me for once.

I dont know what i did or said. I just asked. Im not even sure yet. Why even go burst and all over me? Listen for once. Im a human. I need to speak. Im the one who always need to eat up everyone's words. I got feelings and emotions. I feel like im just a human who you people let out, and i shut up. I always put you people in my first priority. Think, 1 week, once or twice i can get to talk to my family. The rest are meant for you or dance. So issit wrong to hear me a speak and explain. I dont know. It make me feels remorse. Regret too. Like regret for adding on sins, rebel against alot of stuff. Suddenly realize, my family always do what i want and not i do what they want. They said it too much. But i deafen my hearings just for you people. Im speechless in other hand. I have not yet know im really going. Listen, Its very last minute.

Guessed what i shall made my mind not to go. Just for you and competition. Just for you again. Im sorry, mother. Just understand my place, again.

Said and Done. I lazy to entertain everyone. And to fulfill everyone's wishes. Humans ever advice me to stand up for myself and learn to speak out. & always not pleased others. Tell me how to. When at least i tried like 10 percent, they burst and go all over me. Talk here and there. Think shits and craps. I had enough. Im speaking out through here. Say whatever you like. I know i kental. Everyone says so. Well, someone says KENTAL= STRONG. so yah. To people who unsure about this, dont go to others telling when you dont even know the story. ASK ME.

Anything, i think i shall let my dad handle. Done.

"Im just terribly sad to think that humans just dont even care what i feel sometimes. Eating all up and its growing even bigger."

DINAH.

I gonna start moving faster.

2009-11-26T10:52:00.001-08:00

Take a bow, cause you've taken everything else.

2.54am, eyes wide open. I shall sleep soon. Sigh. Lets breathe and embrace the night.

Selamat Hari Raya Haji muslims humans.

Lets say goodbye to all the kambings and cows.

With love,

Dinah.

Laughing Challenge.

2009-11-26T09:28:00.000-08:00

Rin on the Rox.

2009-11-26T09:18:00.001-08:00

I know you wont stay, whats the use of waiting.

2009-11-26T06:45:00.000-08:00

SISTER MUCH

Baby, its better and i want you to be happy. So move further.

Annoying, everything annoyed me. Bitch. Reflect yourself. Anyway, though today i stayed at home like the entire day, its still fun. Haha. Let me tell you my today schedule; I woke up around 10.00am plus, someone just keep messaging and calling to wake me up. Stupid. I am damn sick. So yah. I then realize that i off my GPRS so most messages (both sms and messenger) cannot received. Anyway, i woke up and bathe. Use computer till 2.00pm. Then BB all the way till 7.30pm. Then now, computer all way. Woo. Boring yet fun. Define that.

Talking to the phone with two bitches now, Sasha and Liy. Multi-tasking. But not so. Im bored. Apparently so. I didnt know what to do now. So there i am blogging and tumblr-ing. So yah, im so in love with pixie lott's songs. Wah piang eyy. Seems that i got a nickname. Haiyalah even more. Boy, text me? Neh-hi. I think not. Enough is enough. I guessed. Im so jealous with alot of things. A good jealous, thats what i meant. Haha. Jealous of bee and *insert name*, serious. Where is my prince charming? Where are you? Appear upon me now can? I really need you. Suprise me by jumping out of the bush or something. Haish. Patience my dear girl.

Im damn jealous and pissed that my brother and his Girlfriend watch the sneak

peak/preview. Grr. TAYLOR LAUTNER! My brother said its like the wolf pack is 90 percent half naked the whole movie.Weee(: Cant wait. Really cant wait. Haha.

I am addicted to RinRox. Gosh.

"Life is just pure unfair. Filled with sorrows and other emotions that got us thinking whether we are worth living."

I will not be waiting, so just move. I now confirm that i cant figure you out. And im not your perfect doll. So go.

Dinah Cinta.

The old is better than the new, brings back all the memories over again.

2009-11-25T09:36:00.000-08:00

It was bound to happen somehow.

But i let it all be just like that. I couldnt foresee why we cant be the same like we use to. I miss the way we talk and even be there for one another.

Some say that we'll last. Haish. Think again? Not sure why i said that.

Some say they'll be there no matter what. I hope so.

Still i love you humans.

Im not your miss perfect and neither i am your toy to play around with.

Lets just say that i am exhausted. From dance to complicated stuff that im dealing with now. I wish that i would have superpowers that could travel through time. Stop whenever you need to breathe. Yes. I need to take a very very deep breath. Cause i never had the chance to embrace things around me. Never had the chance to appreciate things that really meant alot to me. Im just to ego to even look back. Pride takes over? Im not sure. I dont even understand. Do you? Define pride please. Or is it call fear? I never could admit the feelings. All that i do is pleasing others. I know, i care other humans than myself. I am happy if they are(:

As i was saying, im getting sick. Maybe because i do not have enough sleep. Haiyalah. Fever is killing me. Yet im awake. Why? I dont know. Hari raya is coming up. Somehow there's no impact. And im waiting my brother and his wife to come back honeymoon. So much to tell. Hah. Unlimited sms is driving me typing all day long(:

Anyway, i hope things get better than they are now. Not did i say things are fine, there are not. But im just trying to get my head up to catch some air, and trying my best to stay alive. These sceneries aint that nice to see. So i wish it end now. The talks and stuff. Something is bothering me. And Bee ask me to find the courage to speak it out. I dont know. I know how it feels you see. & i wish things are same on the other hand like other wishing for it too. My story line are written not the way i wanted, it's god will. If this what god written for me, might as well i live through it and make sure im having the best time of my life, right? So thats what im gonna believe in now.

Sins, are meant to be forgotten and meant to be reflected on. A life lesson to be learnt. I fall for your trap, Ass. So had to figure, so i give up. Moving ahead, smiling. Yes, i can do it. Telling myself that everyday. Its like giving up that for the better future. All i can nothing. But even if one day, things get better, would i go for it too? Smacks. No, dinah think straight. Dont look back. I need motivation. Some are lost. Helpline needed. I need sleeping pills now. This is an issue for me

Highlighting? Not? Still thinking.

"I shall search for the one who loves the way i am, inside and out. The one who shares my thoughts. And loves just the way i am. Because i just realize, changing your own self to impress others just gonna hurt you even more. And one day, when you look into the mirror, you cant recognize yourself. Then you began to regret and reflect and sighing even more than ever"

Love, D

When boredom takes over me, i shall blog.

2009-11-24T19:13:00.000-08:00

Life will go smoothly, only if you think it is

Yes. Im so bored. The fact is i have not yet bathe and im suppose to go meet Liy and head to Sasha school. Im freaking bored. And im waiting for my parents to go Lot 1. I really want to get some stuff that i truly need. So yah. Apparently, im still thinking of highlighting my hair. If yes, what colour? Im stuck. Anyway, i think i should get going and get ready. Muscle aching and back pain is killing me. I think i need to consult a doctor. Sigh. Update soon.

Dinah Love.

Im like exhausted, till my hair all messed up and i couldnt care less.

2009-11-24T08:28:00.000-08:00

I was too speechless again and again. I wonder why.

I love you, pillars. Don't leave.

Ashraf sinclair shall be mine.

All lead to many words and a complicated path, i shall just look and listen

Can't find the right words to define what im feeling right now. Whoa , im so tired and exhausted from everything. Just finish my brother's wedding , still feel all droopy like this. Sigh. I slept around 3am yesterday and woke up around 5am to send my brother off to his first honeymoon with his wife. Body aching and back bone is pain. I couldnt even walk properly.With all this tired-ness, my eyes cant seem to find the reason why i could not even sleep. Now is 2.44 am and im still awake. Tell me why.

After sending my brother off, went to yew tee to check out the plan for handphones and stuff when i received a call from Hetty and she told me about the plan. So i directly go to Bukit Batok with family to check it out. :D and yessa, im a happy human now. Lol. I kinda amuse how blackberry and its functions can really benefit us. Real fun. Actually, i was not interested at all in blackberry, and i swear i dont know which is which until now. Thanks to Hetty who persuade me to buy. I never regret one bit. To know the messenger and stuff, i was very curious. I swear. So yah. And yes, to those who not yet received my new number, no worries, i shall send it to you all by tomorrow. New numbers, sigh.

And rightly after that, i went to liy's house. And chill awhile there before heading to practice. Gosh. Im so tired. I dont know how to describe my tired-ness. Practice was alright. I didnt give my all. Something is pulling me back. I dont know what. Maybe i do not have enough sleep. Slap me humans. I need to rest. But what am i doing now? Blogging. Addictive lah. What can i do? Okay. i just heard something falling and im scared. Lol. Ignore. So my younger sister is accompanying me thorugh the night. Haha. I know very the kental.

Yes i am totally speechless. I dont know what else to do no more. Things are getting out of hands and i wish it were better. I was to stay grip so that everything wont fall all over the place. I hate it. I hate when these kind of crap starts appearing in my life and i had to just see and deal with it though i know i cant do nothing. Nothing. Gosh. I need chocolate frappe. The level of stress-ness is just going out of hand soon. Im just trying to balance and stabilize it. Haish.

I miss school friends already.

and new moon is going to up on theatres. Weee.

And im going to see Taylor Lautner's hot,

un-touchable body.

Gugugaga.

"Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keeps spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you "

Dinah Cinta Lestari.

Amused how father like my brother was, and it made me smile to myself.

2009-11-23T00:46:00.000-08:00

Taking step a rather far back to see what moving so fast forward and trying to adapt to it; somehow i cannot find catch up to everything around me. Sigh

Haiiyaallaaahhh. My brother eventually married to Kak fazliyana. And has a step-son which eventually made me an aunty already. Sigh. Im missing my brother already. Well, the wedding was very exhausting and fun in the same time. Bonding with family. I love it and getting to know all family members better.

Saturday; was the day that announce my brother to have a wife. The day was nerve-recking. All aunties and uncles went to my house early in the morning to get my brother ready and all the 'hantaran's ready. I was rather weird and annoying. But the day was alright i guess. I just smile all day through.

Sunday; gosh. I woke up at 6.31 am from my 4hr sleep. Yawnnnss. And went to Lagun Sari which is at joo chiat there, at least i think so. And yes. Chaotic. So like my cousins came and there we go gossiping. HAHAs. As my brother walking down the aisle, i smile to myself thinking that he is all grown up and going to build up an empire. I give that look and we both smile. Knowing that things going to be rather different. Hearing Ilhan saying daddy to my brother was rather akward and soothing at the same time. I felt my eye all teary up. I dont know why. But no one knows i guess. My cousin, Shasha, couldnt believe that my brother was already married. I sigh alot of times and just putting on a smile. So i wish my brother a long lasting marriage and hope that he shall tolerate every girl/woman annoying-ness. :D

And yes, i eventually ignoring everything. Im so sad that things change. I couldnt believe why things are these way. Im numb and quiet. I am so dissapointed but what can i do right? I mean i love everyone so much. Im giving up. Let things the way they are. As long they are happy right? Am i wrong? I miss alot of humans so much. Sigh. I feel so hopeless. I couldnt care what i feel no more. I just want every humans to be fine:D Take care humans. I want all of us to get back again. I love you humans.

I shall upload the wedding photos and videos soon.

"what i feel and think couldnt adjust and cure everything back, im just purely dissapointed in everyone including me"

Dinah.

Your true colours just right before my eyes, Im so blinded by everything.

2009-11-19T04:39:00.000-08:00

BUNGA CINTA LESTARI
Wonder why i post her pictures?
well, Somebody just commented me i look like her:D
Ashraf Sinclair is mine. I guess i need to look someone who look exactly someone like him.
I think i shall cut my hair like her.
But im not daring enough. And yessa, next week highlight. weee.
scroll down for further update about life.

I guess its time for this to end, Sigh

Well, lately ive been to the chalet. And i swear it was kinda boring. But after awhile is kinda fun. With chinese guy's lame-ness and stupid jokes. Haha. Yes, Drag me to hell to. So, Rafidah and I made a last minute decision to overnight there since Lily is alone. It was great fun and suddenly i feel ourself back. Our oldself back. We decided to watch paranormal activity which is Nc16. And yes we bought the tickets already. So when we want to go in the theatre, we were stopped by the ticket man. And i was damn pissed because the ticket man didnt let us in as LILY was not yet 16. thanks. So, at last we decided to sacrifice the ticket just for LILY. Good friend arent we? Grr. I really want to watch it. I REALLY WANT TO. Okay, i just remembered that i need to pay back 7.50 to lily. Shish. Money Money.

Well, i need to say thank you to Lily and Rafidah for treating me:D ILY humans.

Anyway, Im so going to miss my brother. I sure. He annoyed me in the morning with his annoying jokes. And just to wake me up from sleep. I think he is really nervous for the big day. Gosh i really miss him. I will. And my family too esp, my mother. I dont know why, this is only a marriage. And its not like he is going to go away forever. But still. I want to take the ipod touch and run away. HA. Sigh. Im not myself lately. I want to hug him and i will cry for him. Dear brother, please miss me:D SO busy lately. With this and that. My migraine is appearing lately. Shish.

And yes, im giving up again and again. But i just keep forgetting to forget about you. I dont know why. What just happened haunting me so badly. I need somebody to replace it or something. Addicted? Neh-hi. I dont know why. Serious. GET OVER IT. Its hard to figure everything out. Tell me everything. Feels like ive been thrown by rocks. Im terrified but im not leaving.

End,
Dinah.

"By far, I know im not the luckiest girl alive"

So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time.As far as I'm concerned, you're just another picture to burn.

2009-11-13T10:11:00.000-08:00

Im so unsure of what to do, Maybe because its hard to figure you out.

Well, Sleeping over at Liy's crib. Tomorrow is the big day. Nervous + Excitement. Yessa. One reason that im so damn happy is that i can blog and yes, update my tumblr. Blog is way important than horror movies:D Anyway, Chacha and Bee should have slept at Liy's crib. More chaos and more fun. Shish. Im wondering whether i really look like a guinea pig or a hamster. Lately, two humans called me that. Bugsy and all. Shish.

Anyway, you know how i long i waited just to blog. Now, 4.11am and yes. Im not asleep. If everyday i live with a internet at home, i shall blog my heart out:D weee. Well, as i was saying, Lately things have rather been okayy. :D Things are settle and stuff. Im glad we all did. I hope you dont do the same mistakes again ayte?

Again, I cant help but to wonder what you meant. Im still stuck here. Im just too coward to ask. I really hope my aunt is alright after the operation. Later menopause aunty. HAHA. Anyway, I suddenly miss my family. Esp, my sister who annoys me all the time and my mum who listens. Ive been rather staying away from my family after the incident. Maybe because i really want to stay away from the problem. I hate running away from problems. & it is just the way i am. I cant help but to do so. How much my emotions and feelings towards you, i still got to ignore and run away. Ignore the says and Ignore the pain. I dont know why, whatever you do just put a smile on my face. Honestly, im just hungry.

Watched Susuk Pochong and Twilight, still i have not finish blogging. Maybe because of some interruption. Shish. And i love twilight. I cant wait for new moon. Taylorrrr:D The body is a must seen. I fine Edward and bella is rather sweet. & I cant help but to say awwww everytime they are together. Haish. Almost 3 years Dinah. I need to find somebody already. I hate chasing cats. I hate to play catching. I dont quite get it and it is very tiring. Im so confuse with myself. I dont know why. I just wish things to be better in every way. I need miracle. And i swear i need alot of stuff but i know im just dreaming to get it. Like for instance, a new handphone which my dad just and always refuse of getting me one. He is getting on my nerves. Gosh. He always remind me that the phone is still capable of messaging and calling. Damn god. My handphone is equals to burying 7 feet underneath the ground. I swear. Urgh. I think i need to seek doctor. A suggestion need to be done. Serious. I hardly sleep. Everyday is like 2-3hrs of sleep. And everytime i succeed sleeping, i woke up every 15 minutes. Irritating. I want to dream, even if it is a nightmare, i'll be happy. Serious sia. I want to dream me with Taylor or something. Dreaming of food and snacks that keep me happy:D YESSA. Well, too bad thats not gonna happen. Sigh.

Well oh well, next saturday and sunday i'll be missing out Dance Explosion due to my brother's wedding. Haila. A new member in the family, and a big sister for the first time. After that day, i wont be seeing my brother much. Sobs. No more seeking consult from him and no more getting money from him. Sigh and Haila. Smacks on forehead. Seriously, i will miss him and his very lame jokes that will always mak me laugh. Well, on the brighter side, i got my another brother to turn to and spend more time too. Me and My sister have been sad lately on how things going to change for us. But still, i hope my brother and future sis-in-law will get a very cute child so i can spend more time adoring it. Childrens:D Abang, get internet please. And lets highlight our hair together. As i was saying about the hair thingy, which im suppose to do last week, i didnt get to. Due to my mum's nagging and my brother need to sponsor his girlfriend to dates and stuff. Thanks but i shall seek for revenge:D HAHA.

I think i now shall update my tumblr. :D

Till then,

Dinah perry

" Its hard to get over you, when i know how deep and sincere i was to you"

life's a mystery - solve it.

2009-11-11T02:57:00.000-08:00

SOUL THEORY

HOP PULSE & Videoshoot

I know why families were created with all their imperfections. They humanize you. They are made to make you forget yourself occasionally, so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed.

With all that, im living my life like an ordinary teenager. Im reflecting myself on what weaknesses i had in me and whats lacking me. Lately, so much been bothering. I swear. Ive not been sleeping well like i use to. Sigh. My eyes are numb. Sigh again. But with all that, my pillars are there though. Im thinking back all the past. And you like slapping it in my face and just walk away. Thanks alot uh. Stains. Again, sigh. I hope mum is alright. Im so worried. SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT.

Well, my sickness getting better? nope. I think it just got worst yesterday. I dont know. With this and that, i couldnt care less about others. Im so dissapointed in alot of people. So dissapointed. How stupid can i be to even trust you and believe in you all. How dumb can i be to even let you go and not saying a word about it. Im happy for you though. Still, i dont want this anymore. Call yourself man of the family. Please. Im digusted. Boys and men are getting even more pathetic and much more a liar. Im so blind and so numb that i knew its going to happen, why can i push it off or even help to stop it? Even so i knew whats going to happen, i still let it off. Maybe because i really want to get over it even with this much emotions in me. Slap me in the face again. Again. And again. Repeating. Fcuk. Im just emotionally exhausted. Im ashamed of whats there upon me. I just want a better life. A ordinary life which i can smile all way through without anything bothering me. Oh please god. Enough is enough. Pour some miracle for once. Everytime when i thought, things are going smoothly, the next second, it turn out to be the worst.

However, i know this incident and this life experience will make me a stronger person and human being inside out. I hope. For once, i hope i shall get my goodnight sleep soon. So in that case, those who experiencing the same thing, do call yah. So we shall, talk all night and share our same fate. What can i say. I do miss alot of humans. And i do miss you. Your words are enough to push me away from you. & i will stay away from all this horrible memories. Thanks for everything man of the family. And whoever out there. Sigh.

Sorry. This is a very emotional post. Dont like it, then move on.

"Build a bridge, get over it"

This the uphills im going through. I just want to go on and live my life.

Dinah perry.

Life isn't about finding yourself, Its about creating yourself.

2009-11-06T04:41:00.000-08:00

Alot of faces, with alot of attidude.

I miss alot of humans. I swear. Lately, things have rather stressed up for me. Family and Dance. Im freaking nervous for dance infinity. I dont know why. At the same time, excited:D Well, i want to meet alot of humans. & i want to apologise to rafidah if i hurt her and if ive been too harsh. Lily, i hope you are fine:D Urgh. I dont know whyy. Ive been so Fcuk up lately with myself.

Anyway, i just realised that ive been having the same routine every single day. Meet Liy and Sasha. -..-'' Sick and tired of laughing and seeing their faces. And at last i met up with zimah after all the missing. & zimah look like a mother lately:D HAHAHA. and i meet with FRESH FLAVA TOO. which i am so happy, esp, i met up with HETTY. hehes. & i think Bee is rather hilarious lately. Make me laugh and feel so right about myself. She gives me the confidence to face fears. Thanks.

Okay, i want to change myself. Period.

"Laugh your heart out. Dance in the rain. Cherish the memories.
Ignore the pain, love and learn, forget and forgive because
You only have one life to live "

DINAH PERRY

Im just standing up for myself now and i had enough everything. I want to run far far away.

2009-11-03T04:03:00.001-08:00

keep your head high;
there are people who would kill to see you fall

Precisely,things are getting out of hands. Im too exhausted to even think about it. My mind went blank. Yes, im no longer me. I knew long time ago. I am still here for you when you need me. Just that you didnt quite see it. Open your eyes. You can tell me whatever you want. Whats troubling you and so on. Im here. But now, what are we fighting for? Me, wearing stuff that you dont like and words contradicting me? Its only a day. Is is wrong to text me if you want to meet me? Our house is not that far girl. Just text me and say wanna meet? Or you are free cause i surely delighted to meet you. I thought you are busy with work life. Remember i said is before to go out, you reply work. You work and work. When should i know you are free. Just text me. Nothing harm done. Till now, i dont quite understand whats the problem now. I am confuse girl. Its true.

How i wish i can just show a video of my life to you, and it shall explain everything to you. They are important than you. To tell you the truth, i never judge who is much important than who. I just okgo with everyone to be precise. I never weigh you humans. I treat everyone equally. Be it respect, dignity and all. I do not know why this bothers me, maybe because i dont know why you pissed at me and sasha that much. Yes, im too busy with dance. But you are welcome to come. Its not wrong. Or yah, you didnt quite like the dance atmosphere. Well, im trying to live my life as a jobless teenage girl who has passion for dancing. What i do didnt trouble you. For now, i just want to run away from all this.

Haish. Like what the tagger said, they are concern about me. Yes, i know they are so concern about me. But shooting like that, urgh. I dont get it. I swear. I feel like slapping myself. Im always the one who has to please humans. I feel like pulling out my hair, shave my head or something. Or plucking hairstrands from underarms or something. Okay, eew. But still, i now have this random brain. Too stress. I need somebody to talk to. But who? Somehow, i felt things are drifting far apart. Havent figure out yet.

"Life is too precious to worry about stupid things.
So have fun, get drunk, and fall in love.
Say what you feel and do what you want to do.
Regret nothing and don't let people who don't matter
Bring You Down "

DINAH PERRY

Im Ignoring the possibility and what would come around. I swear, i dont understand humans.

2009-11-02T03:04:00.000-08:00

Im not the human you know any longer & i dont care

I dont understand why and what. Cant i live my life happier? Issit wrong to? I do miss you humans out there. But you also busy with stuff and work. And what you want me to do? Just sit by you and watch you do your stuff. It's just that i need to live my life my way. Im sorry. But what can i do right? About outings, cant you people just remind me. IS THAT A SIN? People change, accept it. You got life to live too right? I bet you are much happier than me. Why bother what i do? cause you are my friend? yes you are to me, my best friend. But have you ask why i do that and what ive been going through. Instead you shoot me and let everything eat me up even more, thanks. Dont blame dance for me changing. Its me, i admit it. Well, i made new friends. Yes i use to hate her, but again everything CHANGE. Change, the word i really hate. The word that constantly in my freaking brain. Eating me up. Everything evolve.

Im sick and tired already. I swear. MIA is a better choice. I got alot of choices. And i still didnt know how to make the decision. Its like im caught in the middle, and i am confuse of what i need to do. Im pissed off with myself for not being a great friend to all the humans i know. And also for not being a great humans. Urgh im just pissed. I hope things get better. I really do. Anyway, i want to apologize all wrongs i did to all the humans. I believe is changes hurt us in every way. And i would want to remind you that, what i do and what i sin i do, do please do not bother. Im aware of it:D

Anyway, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO AFIQ AND SHAZRAN.

who just turn 16 yesterday:D

And i cant wait to rebond my hair, hopefully. Maybe. Thanks brother:D Love you. HAHA, & highlighting my hair:D BUT im still thinking whether to rebond. ermss. And ive watched Jennifer's body already:DD It was okay uh. I guess. I rate is 7/10. Alot of disgusting scenes. Lol. Well, i watched with Sasha and Liy. And we missed the last train. Well, i was pissed. Ended i reached home around 2am. And i cant sleep till 6am. i dont know why. I kept eating and eating. Stress maybe. Alot been bothering my mind. haish. I just hope things will be back to normal. Okay, this is what you humans want, i miss RAFIDAH AND LILY. I swear. & i miss hetty hazwani. I MISS FRESH FLAVA. whateves.

DINAH PERRY

"Im opening my mind to embrace the unknowns and every falls i will face ahead"

I just couldnt get it, how can something so deadly feel so right.

2009-10-28T00:27:00.000-07:00

The love we give away is the only love we keep

absolutely, exhausted.

i want to eat prata already, thanks to liy. So much for the treat. As Sasha and liy are sleeping, im using up my time to blog:D yessa!

and syiq is watching wildchild, which ive been wanting to watch since yesterday, yet im blogging. This week is one chaotic days i ever had in my life. We are so frickle minded whether to dance for art fest in kranji.

Cause apparently, teachers are getting on my nerves. Alot of rules. This and that. So much crap for a 4 minute performance. Sundalz:)

Thanks to Bee and Zimah:D for backing out. haha.

Well, in the end me, Liy, Sasha and Syiq did it.

Putting on our thick faces and just dance. In the end , i think is okay.

All we get is a box of Ferrero Rocher. & I woke up early in the morning just for Syiq. Thanks eyy, & i totally swear to you people out there, that im gonna sleep like there is no tomorrow.

Urgh *yawns*

ANYWAY;

i want to job hunt, which me and liy been wanting since the end of Nlvl.

till now, job-less. m'fuk-uh. I am so bored. Simply said, everyday is like repeating.

Go Liy's crib, eat , sleep there and go home. Dance, jump on sasha and Go home.

Sians. I cant wait for Olvl to finish so i can jump on to Hetty. I bet Fauzie cant wait for it too:D "few more weeks zie, sabarrrr" Haha. My dad is testing my nerves. I want to revive my internet back. I swear. My dad keeps saying soon. But when?! I feel like eating tons of ice-cream, grow fatter and die:D shall we? Well, i just hope that my brother keeps his words in treating me to go salon and get my hair done. Red for highlights:D After rebond, i shall wait till my hair gets longer till the length i want and i then i shall PERM it. wooo. Vanessa Anne Hudgens' hair. Woooweee. okay. Im just too bored. *snores*

HUMANS BE AWARE THAT JENNIFER'S BODY IS UP ON CINEMA TOMORROW:D

chibs. I searching for somebody to watch with me. Urgh.

Since some humans, go dance infinity with emerge kann.

And some people dont want to go kan.

Damn you humans. Nevermind i shall watch alone, i see hot vampires.

note that im not a lesbian, but megan fox is way too hot to deny that fact.

even with the rumors saying that megan fox is actually a guy, Well, if that is true,

He/She is one hot momma:D lols.

I FREAKING ANGRY AND TEMPREMENTAL ABOUT THIS.

This is a must watch. & im going to watch this no matter what. Uhh.

Eat nachos and Drink large coke to myself. Grrh.

with that, i end here.

a sudden craving for burger kings and pepperoni pizza.

whateves.

Dinah perry

" sometimes you need a guide your way through, even it means risking yourself. Well, now i am dealing with bias-ness and unfairness. Tell me, how can i escape from this. I just want to let you know, maybe it is just that but there still more to it."

With all that;

2009-10-27T01:08:00.000-07:00

They are like double chocolate waffles to me

:) pulauu sentosa.

with love;

dinah perry

"im jumbled up, please help"

definitely.

2009-10-26T06:09:00.000-07:00

LIY'S CHALET WAS AWESOME:D

cant wait for the next chalet again.

friday; bird park outing. wanna tag?

I WANT TO WATCH JESSICA's BODY!

oops, i mean JENNIFER;s BODY:D

set a date please.

with love;

dinah.

p.s waiting for pictures.

I had enough

2009-10-22T22:39:00.000-07:00

We are strong enough.

i had enough with all these. why must it be us?

we are all th target of people when seriously we dont even know whats happening around us.

im shock with all these stories. and yes,

if i got the chance i want to kill you.

but no, i respect you enough.

so ive made my choice to ignore all these.

cause we are strong. we stick together as one.

i miss all. i miss us all.

i miss the past when we all are damn close.

now, each got their life story.

LETS ENJOY LIY's PARTY.

and get the bond back.

imy, hetty baby.

Dinah Perry

" the straight-ness of me, is the fact. what you story-tell to others, is only your fantasy cause i rather touch my own. mine is bigger:D"

Pest in the city

2009-10-21T22:32:00.000-07:00

Well, it mirrors you

hey, dude.

sometime, everything causes because of you.

to be honest, i did everything sincerely.

it just that. i didnt want to get involve in any problem.

now your problem with her, dont drag me in.

for now, just stay away from me and fresh flava.

you are still my friend. still my brother.

nuff said,reflect yourself:D

another, life adventure.

some humans. JUST SIMPLY LOVE TO MAKE STORIES.

why us? why fresh flava?

i mean, we treat you nicely, and even like a sister to us.

why even dare to say such stuff about us when didnt even insult others?

we are aware that we are not good, and we are in the journey of learning.

and we wouldnt dare to insult the better ones, cause we know who we are.

im just simply dissapointed; cause i thought you are a great friend. :(

well, thats life.

i love liy allen:D

happy birthday!

i cant wait for the chalet.

and im sorry liy, i lost your baby phat jacket.

I SWEAR I MAKE IT UP TO YOU:D

urgh, very suay day yesterday.

again, im just shocked that there are such humans.

& i know i very kental, liy.

too descent:D

anyway, my life now,

is all about pillars.

hah. love? none.

end.

dinah perry

"sometimes new chapter is needed to forget the past"

A better today; addiction

2009-10-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

The smell of the T-shirt is addicting me
im way exhausted. from sleeping over at liy's house to zimah's now.
yes. im way too tired. im filled with cranky-ness.-..-

firstly; liy's house was damn awesome! i love the cold-ness of her room:D i swear. and her huge tv! and her food:D yes again, food so what we( sasha , me and liy) have been doing is watching dance videos. admiring omarion. and watched the groove in the west and SBDC. haha. funny. but i simply love the next day, when i irritated both liy and sasha to wake up in the morning. hilarious. i swear. zana jump on sasha, including me and liy. hahhaha. then we watched the click, final destination :D

well, im now too tired to elaborate.
lol the performance was alright i guessed. but the event was fun,
maybe because i share my happiness with my mum and sis.

anywhoo, i love the smell.
and the look:D
no need to knowww.
" things changes, adaptation is hard"

p.s i want to catch jennifer's body, give me a date please and we all can go movie outing again. WEE:D

dinah perry

Overnight.

2009-10-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm now using liy's blackberry.
And freaking boredd.
Waiting for Liy's to finish using the computer.
-..-'' sighed.

I'll be back soon!
Dinah perry.

Mirror-ing yourself first,

2009-10-16T06:30:00.000-07:00

Changes, period
what can i say. i completely speechless. and things happened so fast, i couldnt even catch my breath and embrace all of the changes. im so worned out. Dance practices, practically the whole week:D
but it was great fun:D acpt for my cranky-ness lately. sorry humans.
I cant wait to sleepover at liy allen's crib.
i want feeling2 having samsung LCD screen at the room. lol-ness.

as i was saying,
i couldnt simply care and be bothered with those people who creates problems and not admitting it.
instead pointing it at somebody else. im sick and tired already.
i rather sleep and watch liy eat mcspicy all day long.
-..-'' i swear!
anyway, i miss alot people. people that rarely and barely i meet or laugh with.
people that gone far. people that rather with someone else.
people that i really care about, now? i dont know where the people gone to.
all i know im here. and always be there for you.
i guess muting is best. think again.
i dont want to feel the dissapointment in me again like i use to have,
please.
it hurts.
once again, imy you humans:D
nuff said,

" even with those soft words, im still hard"
dinah

I LOVE MY FREEDOM

2009-10-15T05:57:00.000-07:00

LET PICTURES TELL THE STORY:D

i wondered and hope what she say was right
anyway, after my last paper of n'lvl, i celebrated by shaking every part of my body.
watched 500 days of knowing summer was alright. i love it. somehow SOME people think its boring.sigh.
i like it though. the two boys at my left, making such a noise about how stupid is the guy in the movie. lol.
and how mean is the girl. to me, its rather sweet. i want to date that guy can? then i be 'winter'.
Haaha. Sorority Row was AWESOME:D i sat in middle of sasha and liy. and i swear sasha was funny.
afiq like the naked scenes. so boys, do watch:D naked girls. well. i dont care. i got them boobs.
and i SWEAR the show is DAMN scaryy!! first part i was hugging liy already! but i love every minute of it.
RAYA, was fun acpt the part sasha read alif's address wrongly and walk with out heels all the way to his house. WASTE OUT MONEY TAKING TAXI. main reason : so that we wont sweat.
well, hetty imy. i hope what you say is right. winks winks.

"some humans spilled words reflecting themselves"
dinah perry

MY BRAIN IS FRIED

2009-10-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

When i wished you were here;
im getting ready for nlevel. and it been pissing me off lately.
i am afraid to lose everything.
p.s NEXT THURS 8oct, Movie Outing:D
do make yourself free:D

I'm used to opening my own doors and splitting the checks
He introduced me, was always just a friend
I bought a new dress, he never noticed
Always falling for these bad boys, such a challenge
I'm getting tired, of cleaning up after them
I think I'm ready to be a woman

Oh love, I think I'm ready
Ready for it

You were such a surprise
An unexpected gift
Said I was pretty, and I believed it
Not really used to all this attention
Told myself I don't deserve you
And this is just a phase
Could I get used to, being loved the right way?
I wanna argue, but there is nothing to say
-katy perry

with love; D

Your return.

2009-10-01T04:46:00.000-07:00

How do I get
Closer to you
When you keep
It all on mute
How will I know
The right way
To love you

Usually the queen
Of figuring out
Breaking down a man
Is no work out
But I have no clue
How to get
Through to you

I wanna hit you
Just to see
If you cry
I keep knocking on wood
Hoping there's
A real boy inside

But you're not a man
You're just a mannequin
I wish you could feel
That my love is real
-katy perry

Why i cant let go of you.

2009-09-26T05:26:00.000-07:00

Raya at cousin house & msn madness

With that; i continue yesterday's story. i update pictures at F1 soon:D
it was loved. HAMILTON my husband. Hamil anak nya ton.
so we three got this secret that is never to be reveal.
nyamuk nyamuk:D

& im dead tired.
i didnt have enough sleep. SUMPAH.
now at my cousin house.
msn-ing with people.
& i'll end by saying,
' its like writing your name on sand and being washed away by water next second'
that is how i felt towards you.
thank you for the memories.
i need to move now. i must force myself.
Force Deal!
-..-
i want to go out with fresh flava.
& i wish i can go out on 3 oct!!
HASWEEEENN! grr.

dinah perry

uncountable sands.
i must give chance to others

Messenger.

2009-09-23T06:42:00.000-07:00

MSN- madness

if you can afford me

2009-09-23T06:18:00.000-07:00

If you want me, then stop begging I don't put out for charity
If you want me there's no discount price tonight
But I don't need your dollar bills I just want something real
Cause, nothing's free, except a lovin' me

im smiling to forget.
im smirking.
im laughing.
ive gained weight. & im happy for the first time:D

dinah perry

Maybe

2009-09-22T05:50:00.000-07:00

I try to look ahead And look at you as a brighter side of my life

Pictures at haji lane with zimah's friend or what i mean is ehem ehem:D & i met lots of new people. Anyways, these days have been tiring and tiring. Raya is bore. i mean my collection is decreasing:( sianz. & open house is so exhausting.

Anywhoos,
ive been seeing positive side of everything. i need to forget the past. & have confidence to take a look at the new stuff. and dare myself to take risk like i used too. who cares if i might get hurt again right? i mean im use to. i can renew myself again. Haiya.

Zimah, wish you luck and long long rship with him. Ramzbutan:D
I seriously cannot wait to go F1 with my two darlings, sasha and zimah. I want to see hamilton:D he's hot. Too hot to touch or to be seen. P.s sasha is laughing like a mad women, laughing alone while watching kumar's jokes at her handphone-..-'' & i want to ton at sentosa this friday:DD can?

I miss alot people. esp fresh flava:(
im sad. lately people change. change and just forget about us. having new people in their life and simply ignore us. im sad. too sad. or should i say dissapointed in myself. for not being the best out of me. im sorry pillars. i let you down.

& i hope with you, i learn to stand up strong:D
lets boogey out again.
craving for ice-cream. pfft.

with love,
dinah perry

Earth Revolve.

2009-09-17T01:09:00.000-07:00

Its my battle

I thank god for everything you put me through. Even the pains and tests. Im trying my best to put my best smile for the people love. Why do i still feel the miss? For a moment, i was happy. Another, i was down. Let the memories burn, Dinah. I still need to find the light to finally accept who i am. Im hiding everything in me. Hiding in pain. Killing my cells every second. Smile dinah. Its unhealthy.

I wish you knew what you meant to me. I know things shouldnt be this way. I know it will never turn this way if it wasnt my fault. Im all to blame. You were there. I was not. Maybe i was too afraid. Ah well. Its way over. Too over and ended already. Yet im still thinking again and again. Pissing my pillars off. I know, this is not a fun post at all.Just pass this post, and read below:D alot more smiles.p.s i remember the promise until now.

Let the memories be flames & search a new cover page(:

Dinah perry

Painless.

2009-09-17T00:04:00.000-07:00

Lets get wild; shakes those things
what i mean is i need to start to have fun. I read my past posts. Its been rather sad and boring. So lets tune up the mood shall we? I need to have ben&jerry's. Im not so happy but still i deserve a spot to have fun. I want to go amusement park and run naked everywhere:D im sure boys love it. but its not for them. okay random. Finding my sources to have fun, my inspirition to move up always. Help me, humans. I want to ride Huge thrilling roller coaster again and again till i vomit my guts out. [hees] i know. fun right. Or i can just sit at ferris wheel. NO too boring. Anywhoos, Art progessing rather well:D I plan to finish by next week, so i have more time to study. i need a tutor for maths and thats FINAL. I want to watch left.adnan movie again, mr zainal. okay random. I wish boys now were like the past. Respect girls and women of every kind:D

And i want to meet my past primary friends back , like farhan, azhiim, hawa, liyana, daniel omar and all lah! Started to miss them. and all the goofy moments. Dunt forget, kental moments:D Hari raya outing if you humans reading this:) I finally decide on my topic for art and none thanks to you people. i chose reflection:D i dont know why. But i just do it.I miss fresh flava and i miss dancing. Hari raya is coming and i dont feel a thing. slap me.come on dinah. wakey wakey. & shit. I need to pee now . I am so lazy to get my butt to toilet. HOLD IT. I know imformation that is not needed.

nuff said;
i need to really need to get my jogging shoes and get fit:D

dinah perry

BTW

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY:D

i love you so much.

after all you been through for us, nothing i could do to repay you.

thanks for being there.

with love,

your daughter: dinah syaza

Raided.

2009-09-15T21:57:00.000-07:00

Lets say; i was just admiring the nightmares

Have i ever thought i would love the nightmares i had in the past days. I use to hate it alot. Waking me from my deep sleep. Well, i have began to accept all the nightmares i had. Cause that is the only time i see you. I know random. Who cares. I know life is a bore now. esp NOW. Art lesson in lab is equal to blogging:D and why the fuck i can view my freaking dusty blog. Chibye. Need to do something about it. I know im wasting my lesson for researching. research can do else where:D slap me. For now, i think i take a step back from everything. Oh no. I think i take a step forward so that i wont see anything thats left behind me(: give a pat at the back of my shoulders. Computer sound system SUCKS. I couldnt even watch videos. [-..-''] sighs. Anywhoos, i really want to catch i love you, beth cooper. Romantic comedy in some way. i heard from Cousin hotty, that it was hilarious and awesome. maybe because he catch it with his adorable gf. Children these days. haha. If he reads, im meat. Juicy meat(: right mr hotty buttlicker:D Oops. looking forward to hari raya? so that you, mr hotty buttlicker, can eventually kick my butt? dream on. nyahas. Speaking of hari raya, this year im wearing red and yes another is black. with alot of other colours. I still need to do much more shopping. But this year somehow, im not being all fussy about it. maybe because of my Nlevel. My mood isnt right yet. but mayb after exam, i feel the hari rayamood? who knows. I really cant wait to visit each other houses:D you know why! *we making money*

anyways. today at school was a waste.I did like 3-4 question for MATHS. The subject i detest most. Whtever. i wish it doesnt exist. When that day come, I'll be the most happiest student ever. Well, world without maths is like me being the president. no link. who cares. I need help in my maths. hetty where are you? But good news, i can finally understand trigonometry in a way:D big cheers. Fazilah, just few second ago check on my progress. guess what. I HAVENT EVEN START ANYTHING. accept that i drew katy perry potrait. & i love it:D Sickness, sucks. Cramps Kanasai. Hurting me. Chibye you know:D enough of the vulgar. ya know why im like this. maybe because of my freaking period. still love it though. NO NEED TO FAST:D in other way is kinda sad cause i cant feel the hari raya chaos. im at home eating in my room while watching tv(:

again. i want to start knowing inner me.

Dinah perry.

I wasnt looking forward.

2009-09-14T23:07:00.001-07:00

<u> It last so long and bold; just reflection of past over and over again
i need to cry for times just to get things clear out of my mind. i wondered many times why things are left stranded even when you think they were already right. i guess i wasnt the one. i guess i was not all you needed. all i know is i was waiting at that period of time. i was shocked and i was definitely pounded by that fact over times. Even when my pillars hit me with the truth, i was yet denying it. Supporting everything and covering every flaws. For awhile, i thought i successfully turn over. Another period of time, i failed. Things get out of hand. im not those pretty heads and great shape-like bodies those wonderful wonder women have. i dont. im just yet me. The 'me' that no one can seem to accept nor understand. Somehow, i felt you will no longer read this. im not important. those nights i stared at stars. i cant help wondering about the things you taught into me. all the weird things i never heard. it was over.

this isnt like any other stories. i was my life people ruined it. again.
i was bound to strife ahead, forward everything.
but why now im looking at the past.
i need my pillars. i need my head to get back into track and continue moving.
i wasnt at all pleased with myself.
i was pulling myself down.
Self-esteem was doubt most all the time.
i need to dealt with problems.
problems like most people need to face with too.
i was having battle on my own.
battle with my own self.
no one involve. where is my strength i always have?
where is the willpower to overcome pain in oneself?
where, what, when and why? how?
i freakingly do not know.
questions marks glued to my forehead. can you see it people?
in time when you think you need miracle, it doesn't always happen; do they?
some believe is fate and miracle, do i? use to. maybe.
see that; im unsure like always.
the ones use to motivate me to improve everything, gone.
disappear into thin air. air that i breathe in through my nose and into my lungs.
oxygen absorb by my blood. my red blood cells. flow into my entire body;
without me noticing.
you see, i have slipped through many opportunities that im dumbed to see.
i regret most. i wished i was jailed in my own room and know no one except my families.
that way i would not need to face with people. and that way i cant hurt them in any way:D
i love that idea. i hate hurting humans. humans i love.
enough of this. i continue soon.
Dinah Perry.

okay.

got my N level art topics.

1.Cross section

2.reflection

3.water sport

4.brushes

5.procession

6.revolving

& help me. still have not decide on which to work on.

:D im stress yet im smiling.

clueless.

okay. ive been having a very bad flu.

and my face like it was just being punched. i swear i do not want anyone to see me in this state now.

and SOMEBODY called me swine flu. guess who.

haha. thanks to liy allen lor. -..-'

im so sick that i dont even want to think of think.

i dont understand myself; do you?

wahai manusia.

aku rindu engkau wahai manusia.

'INVINCINO'

syiq remember?

dinah perry.

Past.

2009-09-03T18:51:00.000-07:00

When you think forward is better, think again

i believe life is much better in the past.

the past where we all use to be real close.

chasing each other at car parks.

me with the nerdy face.

and all.

i believe it set me thinking even harder to believe that future will be better.

instead sometimes it turn out bad.

changes. yes everything change.

it change for a whole lot of reason.

i cant figure out why.

problems either give us more strength or break us down.

all i know;

i don't want to fall to pieces because of other people who literally hate me and always have reasons to hurt me:D

with that; i end here.

To have wisdom in every human.

To believe that the one you love is always there.

To set us going ahead even when everything is falling.

To wish to have all the things or person you want to have or be with.

To solve every mystery.

To learn things everyday.

To climb up even you feel you are falling.

To destruct the indestructible.

To just laid back.

i miss fresh flava.

i miss ice cream

i miss movie outings.

i miss hugs.

i miss my old specs.

i miss apple crumble.

i miss reading.

i miss computer.

i miss shopping.

i miss dancing.

i miss playing left4dead.

i miss old past.

i miss not studying.

i miss miss sha.

i miss honey lemon with pearls.

i miss sitting down listening to songs.

i miss people messaging me.

i miss people talking to me at the phone till sun set.

i miss running.

imiss playing soccer.

i miss exercising.

i miss everything that is in my life in the past.

esp. I MISS YOU.

Dinah Syaza;

you changed me.

Hope keeps us going?

2009-09-01T21:56:00.001-07:00

Hope doesnt lead to the another end.
exactly like setting too much hope on certain things may lead to harder falls.
and yes. it can be very hard to bring yourself up.
all it takes is a positive and great mindset which is very hard to have.

anyways.
life now is kinda getting even more stressful.
with lots of obstacles ahead;
fights and stuff.

Hey you.

yes you. the girl with curls in the past and now rebonded.

with alot of attitude and with a competitive attitude towards me.

and alot of words that contradicts you.

you are like two-headed snakes;

who acts so nicely in front of you and at the back stings you.

why is it so?

until now i cant figure out why you behave that way.

why cant you be nice?

to me and my cute awesome best friend.

well you think you care for her;

think again.

if you care why you hurt her so much.

and 4years you hurt me.

i tolerated you.

and you keep on destroying people's relationship be it a friend or deeper.

why?

i dont know.

i wish you end it soon.

well; i guess it end already.

i thought you were great,

guess i was wrong.

thank you for the memories that you gave me and fidd:D

p.s i cant understand why humans these days can be super mean to one another.

just be nice can?

i dont respect mean people but i do respect nice ones :D

i'll end here.

i wish to have another great day soon:D

movies to catch:

Shorts.

Dance flick.

New moon ( still long long way ago ) -taylor lautner:D

Bandslam.

Final Destination( dream on )

I LOVE YOU BETH COOPER:D

[anyone wanna tag? i need a movie partner-..- sighs]

Alien in the attic. nyahahas.

more to come(:

WITH LOVE,

DINAH:D

Staring at blank spaces

2009-08-28T05:24:00.000-07:00

Set high hopes only risk yourself of falling hard

definately.

its been so long ive updated my blog.

and i hate my blog for being so dried.

pfft. so here i am at zimah's crib just after breaking our fast:D

we ate FISH AND CHIPS.

i loved it.

my life is boring.

all i want to do now is to finish up my N level.

get it done and over with so i can finally shake my booty.

and to watch FINAL DESTINATION; still i hate it for being M18.

fcuk.

and the challenge of starvation-..-

postive mindset; i can get slimmer:D

hopefully.

ive been so stress out.

Next two weeks(actually less than that) is my First Nlevel paper which is Mother Tongue.

MATHS! urgh.

BTW BTW!

rafidah hair hunt my hair for white hair.

AND she manage to fine ONE!

AHHHHHHHHH!

i tell ya.

well; my life is dull and plain.

still its still colourful with my sisters around:D

they make me smile alot.

AND SYIQ; study for your maths.

well.

Life full of negativity.

Only the strength of our mind will lead through a much peaceful path.

i wonder in times why we had to go through such challenge.

the difficulty of such thing stain our soft and fragile brain which protected by the hard skull.

its like admiring rose from far and finally when we reached it and began to pluck it;

torn of such flower pierce deep and cause bleeds.

it was too numb to describe.

what i did that is wrong to you?

why left me hanging of this thin string.

The thin string that entangled me hard.

And in times when i thought things get better;

turn out to be worst.

i thought things can get better.

i guess those memories absorb deeper in my swallow head.

it stained me hard.

I kept on going. i look ahead but something kept urging me to turn back.

why? i asked.

i couldnt find the answer.

its like a maze, a puzzle.

still figuring out.

help me.

and im still waiting.

those nights i waited;

it rained. so cold.

the cold run down my spine.

it had me shivered.

memorising the notes fot an important exam of my life;

got me thinking of you.

i couldnt search for stars no more.

i broke down.

yet still strong.

those things that can ruin my life;

keep calling me to gulp it down my throat.

i couldnt sleep at night.

I reflect myself.

what i lack ?

listen to songs that really meant alot to me was simply the most tearful moments i ever had.

i miss those times; i hate loads of laughter.

now; im moving ahead.

trying to be the best out of me.

i couldnt simply care what people think about me,

all i know,im me and not YOU.

with love;

dinah.

Fresh Flava; is everything to me.

btw.

hopefully tomorrow turn our fun

and hell yeah im excited:D

good luck zimah for SUNTEC

and Shazran for MJ comp:D

all the best!

At cineleisure.

2009-08-16T05:13:00.000-07:00

When boredom pays the price;

yes indeed;

well; thanks to a chinese guy who let me use the comp for half and hour for FREE:)

haha.

today; i went to support shazran at orchard central along with few others.

i tell you we wait for shazran to perform is like waiting for fruit to ripe.

i swear.

well. today was okay lahh.

but i am freaking pissed of that i couldnt find nail polish remover.

tomorrow school sia!

anywhoos.

yesterday performance was alright i guess.

first time on stage:)

and monopoly deal is addictive*smiles*

and the 'babi' game is hilarious!

My Life:

was never again same. miracles have not yet to happen.

heart still remain to be filled and heal. things rather plain.

and i still need to look at books for N's

when will this end. i swear to you that after the last paper of N's; i will shake my butt out of the examination hall.

until i can no longer feel my butt. shish.

my luck isnt changing. and yes

i wish that i pass my N and go on to O so that i do not have to work!

urgh! WORK.

yes work. wonder why; dont ask.

somehow i need cash now.

i dont no what for. maybe to buy food that fulfill my cravings.

& I WILL MISS HETTY HAZWANI AFTER 2 DECEMBER!

and so will fauzie.

hetty oh hetty. any hot australian dude; do introduce to me:D

(gatal aku)

ignore that. i think i need to go for chinese guys.

SYIQ: you know who. haha.

no lahh. im just kidding and awfully daydreaming.

and i think i need to have durian now!

and nail POLISH REMOVER!

grr.

tomorrow start school.

and here i am already stress out.

im tired and not ready.

hopefully i wake up late! kekekee.

p.s just now BEN AND JERRYS' is SUPERBLYY DELICIOUS.

and so is the dine in bill: $42.14!

my eyes almost literally falling out!

thanks KAK WEWEEN AND MIRA(:

sasha makan FREE!

haha.

well;

till here.

with ultimately lots of love;

Dinah Banks.

p.s i miss rafidah and lily.

and i miss my elmo;

WHERE ARE YOU?!

a little different.

2009-08-13T03:48:00.000-07:00

When words contradicts you;
anyway im loving this week alot.
like when i get to see my kakaks most of the time.
and the talks we had.
p.s sasha got a bruise on her left knee.
okay continue.
im excited with alot of things going on.
im excited to meet my old friend which its been months meeting him.
my best friend who understand me inside out.
i swear. he is the best. EXCITED(:
enough.

DEAR DEAR YOU;
you need not dissapoint in her or others. its our choice to leave.
and i admit we are mean.
very mean.
but do you realise that what you did really hurt us.
i mean not only me.
you hurt them more.
i dont know.
but im saying this from my heart. i wish things turn back to normal.
i hope our ties are fine.
till here.

p.s reza this fringe cut is for freaking you!
gita gutawa-..-
damn you.

with love;
dinah banks

NewSelf.

2009-08-12T05:38:00.000-07:00

Again revolving;

precisely

things have been different lately.

so so different.

i miss old old past.

where we used to be very close.

we hugged and jumped on each other.

yes i do miss.

but things have been alot hurtful;

im sorry WE have to leave.

so dear dear life;

i wonder why things my just change into better or worst. but i wish things remain the same. i want everything back to normal. i want my elmo; big big elmo lost in the room. and i want my brother to realise we love him very much and i dont to see him get hurt. i swear. i wish that i can find my baby clothes back.hah. i know kinda pathetic.

kekeke. but i simply love the time i had we all my darling sisters and my darling soul friends. the one who make me laugh all the time. i swear all the time.i know i aint special like some other people out there.

i know but they simply treat me very well and i feel rather special too(:

SO;

here i go expressing my opinion:

please and i SAY please to people who put blame on others when you freaking dont know the real story.

words are like plagues .

It spreads fast yet the facts are not positive ,

why are you looking on one story;

IS BECAUSE YOU ARE CLOSE.

well its not a reason to start blaming others.

people are dissapointed; more dissapointed than you are!

we talk with respect and you freaking blow at us.

we are human too. why cant we just be friends.

im sad real sad.

i miss, badly miss the times we laughed together.

and how i think highly of you BOTH.

i do. both of you are like brothers to my life.

and i trust each of you;

somehow its decreasing.

im sorry.

but i still love you my dearly brothers(:

with love;

dinah banks

The Flavour.

2009-08-05T04:20:00.000-07:00

Treat Everyone Like A Piece of Canvas
yes.all-out for prelims i say.
well; maths was half hard.
and Social Studies; i didnt have time to finish it.
sobsob.
so nvermind.
busy lately.
and ive moving kinda fast ahead.
i miss my girls; real bad.
seriously.
so weekends; im like utter free.
thinking whether should i go out.
even if i go out; i will be like ALONE.
thought of catching fireworks.
things change alot.
Zimah and me wonder alot why we always treated like this.
we deserve a fair treatment.
haish.
i miss the old.
and syiq said we both must go facial.
teehees.
well; fidd and lily have been my best ever buddy in school.
weeeees.

anyway; im back to searching and exploring.
just wait and see what will happen.

p.s i really wanna go out:( anyone?
*smiley*

Hey everyone , Zimah here . The above paragraphs is done by yours truly Dinah ke-bamBAM . I am just here to kay=poh kay-poh in her blog *giggles* and I want to say that I love you like fuck you na-buey cheebye *hugs and wet kisses*

YES:
zimah is menyebok:D
hahha
i love her.
thank you akak for the clothes.

they fill me:D

i'll end here.
with love;
dinah.
plain dinah.

couldnt care anymore.
i guessed so:)

ALL NEW AHEAD

2009-07-30T00:27:00.000-07:00

Jump High Above All Boundaries

Now im trying to improve myself and just settling all the challenges im facing.

the ones not needed will eventually be kicked out from my life.

though its hard. i know i can; believe is the main word.

yes. family have been crazier i guess.

i love them so much.

i swear.

soon i will have a bigger family after my brother's wedding(:

i cant wait somehow.

now:

lets lead a mingle life back.

yippys!

okok.

Prelims is next week.

i hope i can at least pass my physics or maths :D

ive been studying all out.

and one thing im still weak and confuse at;

that is TRIGONOMETRY.

kanina (means just now in philipines language; okay random)

wth.

physics? dont even bother asking me about it.

exams. 39 more days.

8 october 09 the day that i can shake my butt out of the examination hall.

:D im just leading a positive mind.

hahha.

and im GETTING FATTER.

thanks to the comments from bee and others.

so my mission is to pay back my 1 month and 2weeks of fasting.

and exercise!

eat healthly and be happy.

enough of all that;

im now in love with FERNANDO TORRES! (:

random.

and i hate nenek keropok. whatever it calls.

i finally afraid of going home late.

HARRY POTTER;

rate it 6/10

i guess the ending sucks.

still love it.

cant wait the next one to finally appear on screen.

lily and fidd

MARI TENGOK WAYANG SAMA SAMA.

cant wait.

more movies

i miss rhyfresh.

starting over again;

i guess.

being the best out of me.
like eating spaggetti noodles.

with love;
dinah

when you're gone apparently.

2009-07-28T04:39:00.000-07:00

Leading to two different roads.
first of all; i want to thank wilson for lending his lappy to me so tht i can finally blog.
yes.
these days have been rough.
i just dont know.
feels like ending all the stories,
im stuck here.
two words for you;
THANKS ALOT.
i dont know what to say or just elaborate here now.
you have been there lately.
now im no longer needed.
and suffer all the hits on me still im here; why?
i wonder.
well; things changes. what can i say.
enough of this.

anyway.
i really need to punch this somebody already.
HEY DUDE get some sense into you can can can?
you got a freaking gf which unfortunately happens to be my best friend.
from my view; i think she is treating you well and fine.
but there goes again; she is hurt by some stupid idiotic guy who cant seem to appreciate her.
yes. boys.
wondering off with another girl and just left her in the cold.
in this case is not one girl; but many.
why? is she not good enough for you?
why cant you love her just the way she is?
with this incident; i cant help myself thinking if i will be going through the same thing.
fears.
i pity my best friend.
i wish i know what to do and help her so i can see much wider smile in her cute face.
i swear.

till here;
DINAH KNOWLES(:

end here or not?
holding on?
i like like you.

p.s maybe their words of you were right afterall.

Strike Out.

2009-07-21T22:43:00.000-07:00

Drinking milkshakes on a windy and starry night

days and nights are getting alot different.
few days pass; im still wondering about what might happen.
i couldnt even understand why things happen this or that way.
i just hate to see people i love are in pain.
its not how we help them;
is really how you show the concern and care with sincerity.
i know i cant just stare and wait for time to pass.
on another hand.
waiting. another mission in life i really need to learn and digest it in me.
patience and stuff.
i feel like giving up.
or shall i stay and not move.
past flashing back in my head.
dreams turn nightmares.
i cant help but sat in silence.
even when i know im not alright;
i need to smile and also make other laugh and smile;
cause i never want them to feel the same.
fake smile?
i dont care.
i deserve to laugh and smile.
thats all i ever wanted for these few days.
i knw. i blame myself for everything
no point moving further.
no point thinking about you and others.
though i really do miss;
what can i do;
only pray.
where have you been?
i do miss you.

but somehow i think i need to end this.
enough is enough.
there are tons of fish in the water.
and the water i will test.
should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements;
even it leads no where.

quote of the day: think much deeper now; for others.

ART

my art was not sastisfying at all.

maybe the timeline.

rushing and stuff.

it is not my standard.

what i feel right now;

to turn back the time so that i have more time to do it nicer and more detailed.

pfft.

the relieve part,

i can still finish it up.

and i feel like throwing the canvas out.

the design was not full hearted anyway.

i was like being force by Mdm Lin.

grrr.

anyhoos.

i still love art.

like you love marshmallow dipping chocolates.

Abang.

though in times you werent there when us need you;

you are still in out deep hearts.

after november;

you'll be leaving and staying else where.

to be precise, your upcoming wife.

you always try to help in alot of ways eventhough you are having problems yourself.

thank you(:

and abg oh abg. better take care of your new wife.

be patience alright.

i know momma will miss you.

you are the light to mom's life.

you always there to talk to her when she needed someone to share opinions with.

we all will miss your lame jokes and laughter that you bring to us.

how you always tease me and lil' sis.

how you always irritate lil sis.

how you and me always create jokes that crack each other up.

how you always makes noise if the house is too quiet.

im gonna miss you.

im sure time will pass real fast.

& i promise you i'll be the best at welcoming the guest at your wedding.

with love your sis;

dinah.

Pomise in the dark-Keri Hilson

Can’t count on you most of all when I really need it

It’s the simple things that you do really hurt my feelings

The more I try, the more I’m starting to see it

This can’t work anymore, than you believe it

Goodbye may come as a shock

Even though I love you a lot
I’ve given every breath I’ve got

Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe

And how many times I gave my heart

To how many times we fell apart

And it equals

A promise in the dark

So don’t promise me

And how many times I gave you me

Divided by so many memories

And it equals

A promise in the dark

So don’t promise me

Listen…

I just don’t know what the problem is, what the deal is

Was I there too much, did I move too fast, I couldn’t see it?

All these promises are probably how you deal with it

I’m tired of hearing you say your innocent

Don’t think I forgot

Because I really didn’t, who cares if you’re lieing or not

I’ve given every breath I’ve got

Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe

And how many times I gave my heart

To how many times we fell apart

And it equals

A promise in the dark

So don’t promise me

And how many times

I gave you me

Divided by so many memories

And it equals

A promise in the dark

So don’t promise me

We all make mistakes

Sometimes we do desperate things

What does it prove? NOTHING

And you never do nothing wrong

Then what took you so long, took you so long

Cuz I keep, keep hanging on, keep, keep hanging on

to those i havent link/relink: i link ya'll soon(:

love you ppl

heartly;

dinah knowles.

World Revolving.

2009-07-15T00:06:00.000-07:00

Altered Life

no more smiles or laughter seen by people i love no more.

i wondered most of the times why.

or they turn resent towards us; me.

i have no power to change it back. only i could wish for the best.

i can only be nice and smile. like everything is going well and fine.

its hard when certain people in life expect different things from you.

and they want it to be done their way;

the truth is not everyone will end up being satisfied.

i did tried. but i failed.

and it gets even harder when they cant understand your situation and they think its another reason to get away from them.

i wondered.

im facing one of the huge examinations in my life;

and if i slack now and wondered my mind to else where, i believe i wont have another chance.

this exam determines whether im capable to upgrade to sec 5.

and i do want to go sec 5. and head poly.

so if i gradually going out now; i probably fail most subjects.

or i would pass unsatisfyingly.

sacrificing my own smile and enjoyment; for future.

i felt dissapointed and really hurt by some of my really love ones react when im not around.

read the words carefully -> THE ONLY THING I NEED TO DO IS STUDY AND GET READY FOR N's.

yes. for now; none of you is important.

ONLY NOW.

not my family even.

only STUDIES.

left 2 months to bear.

YES! two freaking months till i get to see you people.

you pillars.

why cant some people get it?

is it wrong to miss someone?

at least i say i miss you;

i mean why cant you just reply NICELY. saying i miss you.

saying mean words back like go and die,

imagine somebody replied to you that.

maybe yes; its a joke.

BUT I MISS YOU; by me its not a joke.

i really miss you pillars.

and it hurts when i believe resentment is growing between us.

i want things to go back as they were.

i hate this real bad. i do.

thats okay,

i can to do this. scrape through all these.

prelims is drawing much nearer. 9 days left.

and not to forget harry potter will be screen in theatre tomorrow.

alot of things need to get done

art: teacher is helping me alot in my prep work.

im doing my extra best.

i can start on canvas today(:

and dateline is next monday.

TAKE THAT DINAH.

tomorow is mock test for maths.

and i need to study all out today.

i dont care.

and dont forget bio quiz.

alot of test.

alot of homework.

accidently; came into my mind;

i wondered if i continue to dance or gradually going out,

i wont have time to do ALL THESE THINGS I KINDA DISLIKE as it is killing my tiny brain.

so today; i'll be staying at school till 6.30pm until next monday.

its time to concentrate and get my head back into all of this like i use to during my sec 1-2s.

it freaking stressful. i regret things. like alot of things.

i think i need a break.

like a saturday movie outing alone or stuff.

i dont know.

i need to breathe.

planning to watch harry potter.

maybe that will clear my mind from all this.

cravings for ice cream already.

DINAH: very fatty.

fatty acids + glycerol= fats.

serious.

anyhoos,

rafidah is being a great friend these days.

i laugh alot with her.

OUR LAME JOKES.

and dirty ones.

or even doesnt makes sense.

i love her alot(:

& dont forget lily;

her madness.

so they are making me smile wider each day at school.

all these smiles reminds of the smile i use to have with pillars.

haish. kept me thinking the times im with them.

all the laughter. i miss them too much.

for real:

i miss RHYFRESH.

DOUBLE DEE

ZIMAH

SASHA

SYIQ

BEE

TRISYA

WAWA

HETTY

yes; them

even they do not feel the same way too.

take care loved earthlings.

i will try to bring myself up on two feet again; even i keep falling.

-with love D.banks.

another to look out to

2009-07-13T01:32:00.001-07:00

OUTINGS I MISS.

Reading aloud.

2009-07-13T00:32:00.000-07:00

Cautious Eating Lifestyles.

haha. from the above bold words; you can really guess what it meant.

its true. im getting fat.

my classmates and friends been "complimenting" me about my body getting much more meaty.

even my family-..-

jollywell; i dont quite care actually cause fasting season is drawing nearer.

haha. so yes.

but still i need to be aware of what im eating.

to be honest; i dont care a shit what im putting in my mouth.

haha.

enough of my diet.

shish.

so today i had my N level oral.

and well oh well. (sighs)

i think i can pass?

hopefully.

seriously the examiner has a fierce and 'i-dont-like-you' face being put on.

i dont know why.

cant they just smile.

i smile SO WIDE still, the mean looking wanna eat you face.

grr. im angry. hhaha. nah; im not.

but i hate the picture discussion.

still do and still am.

i really dont know what to say od describe the picture.

fish.

passage was alright; accept for these few words.

enlivening and few others.

chib.

and conversations; i try to talk ALOT.

remembering all the advices that been given to me.

so thanks people.

ENGLISH DONE.

mother-tongue here i come.

i swear i was so nervous.

my legs were shivering and my hands were trembling.

i was the FREAKING FIRST ONE LAHH!.

kanasai.

-..-''

well its over(: & im so glad.

:D see im smiling so widely.

haha.

These days:

have been the most stressful days i ever face before.

FACING with twofaced people or simple said hypocrites.

even with people that are in problems which i dont know how to help; just listen.

facing with teachers pressuring you about art and other subjects.

with overdue homeworks.

facing with upcoming prelims that i really wish i can excel.

facing my own emotions; like for instant missing people and cannot meet up with the one you love.

or with doubts or just simply scared for exams.

wah. alot.

im dealing it myself.

and i can actually say i really can cope if i take it one at a time lahh.

fuy or whattt!!

still i got my friends around me. my pillars and stuff.

haha.

esp my family(:

maths mock test is this thurs due to my innocent face that force Ms sim to postpone it.

yays!!

got time to study. wish me luck people.

for what i want to say or elobarate here;

im desperately excited to watch harry potter and the half blood prince.

3 MORE DAYS!!!

no words could actually describe my anxiety to watch it.

lol.

so emotional and dramatic.

he's getting hot. what can i say.

but i think daniel radcliffe is much more hotter in the goblet of fire with his messy hairdo.

haha. yes hot.

but i think in half blood prince; ron and draco is getting effing hot but still cannot win my heartbeat; harry(:

hehhee.

okay okay. too much info.

but i bet this season is way better(:

looking foward to it.

i swear.

and also OBSESSED.

starring beyonce!

so its a must watch for me.

i dont care its boring or what.

still theres beyonce(:

(smiling widely)

and yeah ice age3 3D.

my brother said its like a waste of money spending extra for the 3D.

i dont care. i want to watch it.

seriously.

movies movies.

new moon is coming up on 3 dec.

fuy.

that is a MUST WATCH.

serious.

taylor lautner getting too hot already.

way hot then harry potter.

so wtheck.

im busy blogging while my friends busy doing their prep work,

and yes i actually escape from handing the prep work today.

too much to be done.

and canvas; have not even started. ALOT TO DO. i swear.

im so nervous that i fear i can finish on time.

wish me extra extra luck for it.

did i mentioned? my art mate; michelle apparently describe me as TYRA BANKS (blushed)

haha.

here hows our convo:

M: dinah; did i ever said you talk, look and even the way you behave EXACTLY like tyra banks?

D: (shock and blur face mixed up) erm. no? really. i do?

M: hell yeah. (laughs) everything. so inspirational.

D: well. i dont know. are you sure?

LILY: michelle is blind (walk away)

D: (roll eyes and laughs; continue to the convo) i didnt know. seriously(still shock) no one ever describe me that.

M: haha. yes its very true. you really look like one and even talk exactly like tyra. i cant help but to just keep looking at you.

D: (laughs out loud and still cant believe) thanks?

M: welcome. waiting for you to say it. really. so now you are tyra banks. DINAH BANKS.

D: haha. i guess so.

take that tyra fans! (:

im the new improve DINAH BANKS.

perasaan; i know.

starting to miss going out with RHYFRESH.

haish.

i love them loads.

imy.

meet soon aytes(:

with extraodinary love;

DINAH BANKS(:

Dinah Syaza binte mak bapak ayam. -dont ask why

2009-07-08T00:19:00.000-07:00

another chapter.

Progress.

2009-07-07T23:49:00.000-07:00

REVIVING

hey. alot ive been missing.

& yes. ill get more busy soon.

2months till N's.Omg. alot to get start with.

yesterday apparently was my first day of school.

last week; was a holiday just for me.

since i was too sick and down with terrible and horrible fever;

i miss out alot.

kanasai.

so i been studying hard and making sure at the end of the day i got white hair.

okay. not white hair, i'll scream if i do.

but yes.

my eyes literally swollen from the whole day of studying and catching up with all the homeworks.

gosh. im rather sleepy.

but yes i need to stay at this old freaking school; to do my art till 6pm.

art teacher is alot understanding. and im all motivated to do art. i love art even more so after the death of MJ.

he sort of the motivation. and not to forget my baby; hetty.

hetty's motivation for her O's is pretty much my another inspiration to excel.

thanks babe.

so these days; i swear to you im begging my dad to revive the dead computer.

& guess what he said he will soon(: YAYS. <- note that: PEOPLE THAT IS VIRTUALLY ADDICTED

though i thought that without the touch to virtual; im being creative lately in how i spend my boring hours.

and i spend alot of time with my darling family.

yes. but i miss out alot and i need to get back track in virtual.

haha. i miss computer so much though.

i need to think of a name for my computer. neh im just kidding.

life have been going quite okay lately.

even with some rough edge; i am capable of ignoring it.

Cause really: family and studies is way way important.

and yes my crewmates too.

along with my two chuckling partners; lily and fidd.

whatever it is.

so yes. ive watch transformer already;

ad guess what. its freaking good.

WHOA; i want to watch again I DONT CARE.

see my hearbeat and my air; bumblebee.

is apparently like adoring the past look of MJ.

haha. no. its like adoring cats with large eyes.

no no. its like adoring monkeys.

Okay. no. its like loving Chris brown or something.

i know too much elaborating.

pfft. who cares.i miss using comp far too much.

chibs.

hahaha. why sia im updating my post and lily doing her research on art.

hahaha.

i swear to you; i finally starting to love maths(:

trying to at least.haha.

history homework equals shit and mind-messing.

9 SEQ questions need to hand up this FRIDAY along with 1 set of SBQ.

TAKE THAT DINAH FOR NOT ATTENDING CLASS LAST WEEK DUE TO STUPID FLU THAT I FEAR WAS H1N1.

okay enough of that.

& i couldnt stand being so busy.

Plus N's end oral is THIS FRIDAY.

need to clear my mind and practice talking.

so where's my talking partner?

i miss talking and laughing alright!

deng! (: & i can read your mind-

RHYFRESH

love love love.

i miss you pillars alot.

hope to see ya soon.

alot of hug and kisses.

muah muah.

i miss RHYFRESH

i miss COMPUTER

i miss the PAST.

i miss TALKING PARTNER.

i miss GOSSIP PARTNER.

i miss ME

i miss my old lazy ME-..-

i miss MICHAEL JACKSON; for now only.

haha.

i miss my dead hamsters.

I MISS MY GRANDMA!

i miss my old neighbours who plays block catching with me

i miss my primary school friends; the big and smalls ones

more ahead.

LOOKING FORWARD:

HARRY PORTER AND THE HALF BLODD PRINCE.

all time favourite. (:

dinah-

i aint that nice.

get what i mean?

WILL BE MISSING FROM ALL THE FUN SOON

Michael Jackson

2009-07-07T23:06:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson

yes. his the inspiration to my art now.

hahha. i dont know why. but all i know im at library doing my art.

All out alright.

cause two weeks i need to literally finish everything to prep. work till canvas.

im so excited yet extremely nervous.

lily on the other hand same fate as me; so relax and calm.

so yes. headgear is yet still to concentrate on.

im confident on what i want. but im scared i could not transfer or draw it in details.

haish. continue blogging later.

need to search for more unique photos of him(:

with love and still extremely love to late michael Jackson.

may you rest in peace.

and damn.

art is pushing me til 6pm in the afternoon.

i desperately angered and sad that im going to miss MJ memorial at CH5.

chibs.

till here.

2009-06-15T23:49:00.000-07:00

Remembrance of Steps i took in the past
seriously;
life have been alot different. remembering the slenge-ness i look and to what ive become.
and all friends i known. so yes apparently. i kinda miss the whole past i had. but im smiling even more each now in the present.
as for now; i dont know whats up for the future for me.
im going with the flow with everything now.
thanks hetty for the advice.
and rhyfresh for being here with me.
also not to forget my souls sisters at school (:
i love you; all.

Alright alright now.
i came to zimah's crib to send some food as syiq and sasha sleeping over her house.
and yes. video call with oneroc.
i shall say he's one mad guy.
muahaha.
and yes im going to kentot at his face.
syiq is so cute with pyjamas on.
haha.
yes just now im surrounded by smelly people.
zimah lost her underwear.
with sasha's cranky face.
haha cute people i say.

enough about all that;
isnt important.
the main motive of me blogging is to blog about this taggers.
stupid hatetaggers who is not happy with us; RHYFRESH.
we are a simple crew who wants to learn and gain exprience through this passion of ours.
so why hate us? or are you just threathen by us?
but the thing i got in my freaking brain is;
you too got passion like us. so why hate why not love?
or simple said; we can go through this journey or learning together.
maybe you think you are better than us.
but to me you are still learning right;
so that still makes us even, correct?
i mean im not saying im good or what.
im not and im aware of it. all i know RHYFRESH respect.
why cant you. if you aint happy with one of us; just approach us.
cause this tagging is immature shit.
and really im not scared and really if you say you are not scared of us;
prove it can? im here saying politely & thinking this is very childish of you and your clan to be hating us.
any specific reason that you hate us so much?
cause why we are the fame stealer if thats what you people been calling us.
or what we are whacked? or we suck?
suck is not a reason if you say you hate us so badly.
why judge people? you aint that good too; if you say you are from crew soreal or even beat freekz.
then i shall say; i will take a far step back from you people.
but since you are not; we are about even.
so what im trying to say; why not make peace with us rather than hate.
thank you(:

takecare readers(:
deedee

time break

2009-06-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

The drive to move forward slower.
things have been kinda rough.
but hey.
im doing fine i guess.
i need to really catch up with my art.
shit. im missing out alot.
here i am;
seeking forgiveness from people if i ever hurt them
if i do still hurt or irritate them;
im sorry & i swear i never meant to start any kind of war.

so yeah. im at dhoby gaut.
looking at sasha playing left4dead.
haha. waiting for zimah and bee
and off we head to youth park ofr street fest.

whoa. life without computer is like life without television?
i dont know.
haha. all i know im so freaking bored at my sleepless nights.
my solution; listen to songs or even reading some shit stuff i can grab off.
teehees.

simply. i am freaking lazy to update my past life.
haha.
however;
i am excited for upcoming competition somehow.
nervous too. i hope it turn out okayy.
dance prac have been kinda okay.
and in times frustrating.
sorry pillars.

i learnt something in past few days/weeks.
is sometimes bottling up feelings is way better to keep things going on smoothly.
& to always keep the rage down.
i told ya; its been rough with everything in my life.
well; im alright anyway.
hees.

Chibs im hungry.
& ONEROC;
suke kacau orang computer rosak!
throw batu at your head then you know.
pfft.

okay lah. i dont know what to say.
all i know im looking forward to more movie outings.
because more better movies are up for me to be drawning my eyes to.
lol. anyways.
NIGHT OF THE MUSEUM 2 is splendid.
esp the monkeys.
& the cupid.
hees.

oh yah. i know im slow.
but i just recently watch wolverine.
and walao.
im addicted to it.
Wolverine is hot.
so is cyclops.
haha

next movie im looking forward to it;
transformer & UP.
and ALOT more.
seeking for partner to watch the uninvited.
movies movies.
i love movies.

i'll end here.
take care readers.
& nadyra;
haha. yes i admit im a hamster.
a FAT hamster. lol

deedee;
the journey begins.

Exhausted

2009-06-05T16:13:00.000-07:00

Thanks for calling me hamster doubledee & nadyra(:

A day when i held my eyes wide open.>

haha. how should i say?

im deeply exhausted and still happy though.

my eyes is like panda and half open while blogging.

And yes its 7.18am in the morning im at a lan shop.

shish. the whole night trying my best to stay awake.

basicly; most of us ton to support fauzie, abg faliq and alif for singapore idol.

haaa yes

it is very tiring.

so now we are kinda waiting for them.

SO MUCH LUCK!!

so later today night.

heading back home to hetty's crib.

SLEEPOVER.

yays.

i tell ya. i love her so much.

& not to forget my other rhyfreshians who have been there listening to me.

sayang kamu smua.

wah. so much so.

obviously; ive been missing alot in cyber world.

chibs.

i can say that alot of times(:

& again kanasai.

too much to update.

so i dont bother to do so.

but still there is alot of advantages towards not having computer.

firstly; i can catch up with my studies.

secondly;i have time to read more.

thirdly; i spend time with my family more.

fourthly; i can watch tv more often. & have the time to know whats going on with the world.

but there is one big DISADVANTAGE!

and that is being bored when you completely dont know what to do;

and always ended up reading READER's DIGEST.

pfft.

i will one day again find the time or should i say computer to blog soon:)

most love to all the readers.

i'll end here.

deedee

2009-05-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

So Life has been going on pretty good

i spent my recess at the library as per usual blogging.

im so bored.

Fidd and Lily didnt attend the so called last day of school.

i need to keep their TILES of homework & my bag is super filled with notes and homeworks.

chibye. so yes.

these problems kept me on going.

i never give up. i try my best.

all i know ive been missing so many people.

i cant wait for this friday's prac.

whua:)

i love my mother even more. we bond so much closer after which yesterday's talk.

hhaa. i know i knoww. she knows.

i wish is raining cats and dogs.

eew , no dogs. monkeys better. lol.

so ive been working hard with my studies to catch up with what im missing.

GO ART:) & maths

study partners? when to study?

lol.

& people or should i say readers;

THIS SAT FAMILY CHALET IS CANCEL DUE TO THE SWINE FLU.

YAYS.

the end:)

deedee

2009-05-24T19:54:00.000-07:00

Simply heart melting:D

I tell ya; i got stuck to the net. fuuh:)
all out eyy.
scroll below for more.
i just love blogging lol.

zimah zimah[BJ kadir]
i love you

pillars i love you too.

deedee
just being random

2009-05-24T17:48:00.000-07:00

Running Slower; taking in everything even deeper
apparently these days is like a rollercoaster.
yet its the most learning journey ive been through.
with alot happen these days; ive learn one valuable lesson.
threasure everyone around you.
thinking of losing anyone around me will be the most heart crashing i guess.
so i want things to move much faster somehow. but still im breathing slowly.
i need time to breathe and have my own space to just have my soul searching time(:
really i do need one.

so yes. time for updates updates.
where to start.
FRIDAY 22 may 09
hmm. dance practice.
& yes the studio is pack with people.
i was quite suprise.
hahs. then went to FN prac.
then go home.

SATURDAY 23 may 09;
PERFORMANCE at bukit panjang cc.
B.O.T.Y.
-> so let my story the day.
i went to meet sasha and hetty then ddee.
we were kinda late and still sasha all wants to go boty.
reached boty and didnt even get to see the showcase or battle.
then we need to make a move to the venue of performance.
pfft. i tell you that day was the really mind bursting.
as in i get agitated real easy.
walao. everyone was rushing and gushing.
so we took the 7 seater cab that is ready to go.
so much so.
the performance went well:)
haha.
cant wait to dance with pillars again.

SUNDAY 24 may 09;
went to zimah's crib
then to ddee's crib
then to this church [ i dont know what it called] for international comp.
hetty and zimah also participate.
well. everything went fine.
[:D]

Quote by wilson song;
Lets Neve Rake up The Sad Stuffs.
As Human,We shall look forward.
Cause setbacks in life are just stepping stones towards success.

yes yes thanks wilson for just sharing this with me.
haha. motivate me to study and move on to be better in life.
weeeeeeeeeeeeee.

& zimah; your blog song nice or what!
& im in love with david cook-permanent.
walao. start to melt or should i say cry.
chibs.
hahaha.

No boundaries
Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment lasts forever
Then you feel you've lost your way
What if my chances were already gone
I started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
To fight and never walk away

So here I am still holding on

With very step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Just when you think the road is goin' nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand 
And show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

I fall to the land there to stand on the edge
What if today was as good as it gets
I don't know where the future's headin'
But nothing's gonna bring me down
I've jumped every bridge and I've run every light
I've risked bein' safe and I always knew why
I always knew why
So here I am still holdin' on

With very step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Just when you think the road is goin' nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand 
And show you that you can

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries 
Above and beneath you
Break every rule 'cause 
There's nothing between you and your dreams

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe

Yeah
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

p.s i was devistated that ADAM LAMBERT DIDNT WIN.
kanasai. he deserve better.
he sang the song no boundaries.
better than kris. pfft.
-..-

check it out(:

with love;
dinah.

2009-05-24T17:39:00.000-07:00

Keep on going.

these days things kept me thinking to be better.
ive done alot in the past.
im starting fresh.

deedee

2009-05-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

LAUGHING ASS OFF; apparently so.

you see you see.

im very far apart from the cyber world.

as you readers know; my comp is such a tuut tuut tiit.

whatever.

so now i spend my art lesson at the library blogging.

Chibs. haha. and yes. this comp is giving me a hell of a problem.

i cant even put pictures. actually wanted to put pictures of monkeys and kitten.

i just love animals. hees(:

i miss blogging and surfing the net. i just do. im so bored with my dead handphone.

apparently my prepaid is killing me.

"mummy; top up pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee:D"

so yesh. i really need to learn to save up my prepaid and also learn how to save money.

NOW; im saving up money:D

haiyya. -..-'

i hate saving money.

these days got alot of problems;

hetty knows:) thanks for listening babe.

so far so good.

last saturday;

Celebrate Fauzie's Birthday.

it was fun and hilarious.

really.

to ziezie: hope you like the present.hees.

i'll buy chuppa chups for ya oneday.

yes. i especially love the games.

i mean watching them play.

i was afraid of the phofit

hees (: i knowww-kentalan right.

so wth.

p.s no hard feelings with you guys:)

i swear

Sunday;

BORING.

to FRIENDS AT SCHOOL;

hey if this fight between you guys in KRANJI.

please to ask the outsider who dont even know us closely to back off.

cause these aint got nothing to do with them,

thanks(:

im being neutral. not supporting whos whos.

i just want things to settle.

cause this kinda irritates me.

as for my life;

it just going on as per normal.

my exams result sucks.

-..-

im so gonna buck up(:

june holidays = STUDIES

weee.

i love PILLARS.

i miss them too.

try to update soon.

with lots and lots of love;

dinah syaza.

p.s KANASAI TO THIS COMP WHO DONT ALLOW TO PUT PICTURES

so plain. pfft.

2009-05-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

Evenly spread throughout

10.27am
zimah's crib.
as the rest and also me did not sleep last night;
all of them are snoring right now. i sleep like for 2 hours((:
though i was VERY sleepy last night. somehow the night was simply wide awakening.
i couldnt sleep. so result to recording our knock you down version, let me know and more at lappy. haha. the trio; bee,me, zimah singing. it was fun though. playing computer and stuff. also talk talk session with my brother doubledee roslan. haha. i couldnt sleep. so me and dee check some videos at youtube. then around 8 i decided i need to try to sleep.
and i swear it is so restless and sleepless. i dont know why. urgh.
i toss and turn but simply couldnt find the perfect spot to just knock me to sleep.
pfft. im so bored. SYIQ where you. bibik kata hendak bersih kan rumah?
shishhhhh. sumpah. im really BORED.
so now my last resort is playing the lappy and what else blogging.
more pictures update soon heees.
wah laying down at the sofa with lappy at my stomach;
oh how i wish i can do this everyday. lol.

so now;
waiting for everyone to eventually wake up.
sleep like PIG.
haha
-..-

deedee

another update

2009-05-09T12:40:00.000-07:00

So much so

Updates for the past few days:
okay okay. lately ive not been updating because of my computer going kookoo[like what zimah. just boom. wth. i was cursing my computer badly and seriously.
angry okay. ive been bored. really bored. [sumpah] i didnt do anything great or fun. i was freakingly stress up. about my exams and stuff. i was [am] really worried about it. all i know i will not do well. so. yes.

WEDNESDAY 6 may 09:
fuh fuh fuh. i did my maths paper 2 and biology.
Maths paper 2; fishcake berbulu. i know i flunk it. omg i so know im not gonna pass.
i didnt understand a thing! i was so blurr. i think i didnt have my lucky pokka milktea which kept me awake and thinking. so i know i FLUNK it.
Biology; well i didnt study that much hard. i know i need to study & memorise harder.
CHIBS im making my teacher dissapointed again. im sorry ms wong. [:(]
haish.
so on that same day; after the exams. me and lily along with fidd planned to do my art
at library cck. so i invited sasha and hetty along. i was so stress up,
cause on that same day i found out that i need to do 5 pages of coursework for art.
kanasai. serious ehh. i was so stress. my brain is bursting or evenly said exploding. pfft.
so i drew as fast as i can. reach home around 11.30.
do my coursework while talking on the handphone with lily.
i was so stress that i nearly cried. i slept at 5.00am then woke up at 5.30am.
my mom said i look swollen and very sick. doing the coursework had make me fall sick.

THURSDAY 7 may 09:
supposely my art exam. but i didnt go due to my sickness. CHIBS.
bored the whole day.
NO COMPUTER.
so yes. i read 4 readers' digest.
then sleep-..-

FRIDAY 8 may 09:
in the morning woke up and went to ITE clementi with sasha and doubledee all.
fun fun but still bored at during the show. esp the ones singing. i was snoring and also headbanging. dont ask why.
then went to dance prac((: & AND AGAIN NO COMPUTER.
but the night was not boring.

SATURDAY 9 may 09:
today went to Simei; for anugerah audition.
not me joining but supporting ppl. yes yes.
fun fun
then went to performance at East coast park.
IT WAS FREAKKING HOT EH. walao cannot tahan.
the journey there was LONG. yet fun. with someone singing all the way & making me laugh.
so yes. i had a great time though.
i held my bladder for almost 1 hour. fuh.
i tell you. the toilet hunting was frustating.CB
haha although the space for us to dance was kinda cramp it was really an exprienced.
and we got freeeee foood. but i did not ate cause i dont feel like it.
i ate sushi though(: they are love. wooo.
then we went back. for certain [ sleepover!!]
overall: great time & sweaty, tired and sleepy!!

So now;
im at zimah's crib staring at her lappy's screen;blogging.
YES finally!!
SLEEPOVER IS FUN((;
with the people i love around me.
4.12am now.
my eyes is still wide open.
BEE, DDEE,SASHA & AMIE
along with the owner of the crib; ZIMAH.
is still yet awake.
all either watching tv, playing lappy and computer.
haha.
cannot wait for early morning; syiqy bibik come and clean the house. yay!
the morning word; reminds me of this phrase wake up and smell the coffee.
i learn something new.
so im still awake. im not sleepy at all.
0.0
hees.

end of story.
pillars are love.

deedee;