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Photobucket Dinah Syaza
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Monday, September 14, 2009, 11:07 PM
I wasnt looking forward.

<u> It last so long and bold; just reflection of past over and over again
i need to cry for times just to get things clear out of my mind. i wondered many times why things are left stranded even when you think they were already right. i guess i wasnt the one. i guess i was not all you needed. all i know is i was waiting at that period of time. i was shocked and i was definitely pounded by that fact over times. Even when my pillars hit me with the truth, i was yet denying it. Supporting everything and covering every flaws. For awhile, i thought i successfully turn over. Another period of time, i failed. Things get out of hand. im not those pretty heads and great shape-like bodies those wonderful wonder women have. i dont. im just yet me. The 'me' that no one can seem to accept nor understand. Somehow, i felt you will no longer read this. im not important. those nights i stared at stars. i cant help wondering about the things you taught into me. all the weird things i never heard. it was over.

this isnt like any other stories. i was my life people ruined it. again.
i was bound to strife ahead, forward everything.
but why now im looking at the past.
i need my pillars. i need my head to get back into track and continue moving.
i wasnt at all pleased with myself.
i was pulling myself down.
Self-esteem was doubt most all the time.
i need to dealt with problems.
problems like most people need to face with too.
i was having battle on my own.
battle with my own self.
no one involve. where is my strength i always have?
where is the willpower to overcome pain in oneself?
where, what, when and why? how?
i freakingly do not know.
questions marks glued to my forehead. can you see it people?
in time when you think you need miracle, it doesn't always happen; do they?
some believe is fate and miracle, do i? use to. maybe.
see that; im unsure like always.
the ones use to motivate me to improve everything, gone.
disappear into thin air. air that i breathe in through my nose and into my lungs.
oxygen absorb by my blood. my red blood cells. flow into my entire body;
without me noticing.
you see, i have slipped through many opportunities that im dumbed to see.
i regret most. i wished i was jailed in my own room and know no one except my families.
that way i would not need to face with people. and that way i cant hurt them in any way:D
i love that idea. i hate hurting humans. humans i love.
enough of this. i continue soon.
Dinah Perry.

okay.
got my N level art topics.
1.Cross section
2.reflection
3.water sport
4.brushes
5.procession
6.revolving
& help me. still have not decide on which to work on.
:D im stress yet im smiling.
clueless.
okay. ive been having a very bad flu.
and my face like it was just being punched. i swear i do not want anyone to see me in this state now.
and SOMEBODY called me swine flu. guess who.
haha. thanks to liy allen lor. -..-'
im so sick that i dont even want to think of think.
i dont understand myself; do you?
wahai manusia.
aku rindu engkau wahai manusia.
'INVINCINO'
syiq remember?
dinah perry.

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