Just for your entertainment.

HE GOT ONE BALL.
i know so.

anyway;
my life is over the moon & now felling hard.
how i sometimes wish i was the one who get Squash by the 1 ton concrete.
Things will all go way. FAR FAR AWAY.
so much for changing.
I TRYING SO FISHING HARD.
only allah knows.
the tears the rolling down to my midnight pillows.
my pillows are consistently wet & damped.
though sometime my eyes are numb, no tears at all.
eventhough i felt like crying.
It just numb.
well. all i know.
i try to think & tried to be concern about others.
I try to think what if i were them; what they will feel.
i try to think twice before i say anything.
but sometimes i blurted out.
dinah dinah.
i am trying my best to be the happiest girl i possibly could.
eventhough i know; im not that sure afterall.
being who i am.
i tried. i swear.
somehow it kinda fails in times.
but no worries, dinah.
i will make it(:
& i so try hard for the subjects i am weak on.
instead my mind wondering in my own brain.
but then i will knocked myself out & concentrate.
PHYSICS; will i ever understand you?
talk to me physics.
i hate you. you know that.
omg; im getting weird by sentence i been trying phrasing.
bullshit.

& above all that.
im confuse with feelings.
my own feelings
what i feel?
i dont even really know.
should i continue or stop?
i tried stopping.
Will i ever get over it?
i was so confident.
"love, i threw it all away."
haha. dinah.
the best i could say i was fighting in my own mind.
Fighting for answers
Ignore the best way.
cause waiting is like stabbing me by the back.
Im telling the truth.
I don't even know my feelings.
Songs that are related;
just hurt me even more or stucked in my tiny brain.
two words: LOSING GRIP.

all these sleepless nights; had me gone thinking whether im worth living. or am i worth caring for. or even loving. Had me gone thinking the future. Whether one day i get to find my real happiness ive been searching for. Wondered me in every way. Wishing on a tiny blinking stars at nights at the nearby window. i glared at the stars for few seconds & close my eyes wishing things would go by fast & you would eventually be mine. wishing about things would go better. And other days i would wish i can be stronger to forget you as thinking of you, its been killing me. the faster i get over you; the better. i guess. The problem im facing aint similar to any problem i face before. it is challenging. im not prepared allah. Problems after problems keep falling on me. I use to be so sure that i can really stand strong. i am standing with both legs. How long could i stand the pain? How much longer? I just wish i can hug somebody tightly. Releasing the minor strenght i had to you just to tell you how im struggling. I wish i could have the confidence i use to have. I am holding back in everything; school & daily life. instead im spending things im not suppose to do. Never i try to really let out my real inner feelings to anyone; im just too afraid. Burst to tears i would say. I was never good at sharing. But i hope im good at listening. Past = to nightmares too. Keep haunting me again & again. i wondered day by day. the moment me eyes opened from my short period of sleep, who would take me away from all these. Who would care to lay by me & just stare to each other without say anything. Smile & make me able to sleep again. ive been thinking lately; would people care if i go away one day? Would it make a difference? i apologize for my moody -emocrap thoughts. i shouldnt have post all these. i just felt like i want to.
SO MUCH FOR MY PREVIOUS POST SAYING NO EMO CRAPS.
bluhh. sigh sigh sigh.

i need time; for all these.

deelove.
letting go its hard.
saying it so easy.

100309:
was splendid.
SCHOOL is terrific.
i had no mood outs at all.
REALLY
thanks to fidd who just entertained my irritating-ness in class.
i tickle her & make her go all crazy.
she is utter cute sey.
im serious.
I bet im the most irritating classmate + friend.
ASK SDK.
haha.
& SDK went to night market (so called) at lot 1 area.
Cause fidd told me there is one stall selling marshmallow dip with chocolate.
it is like on the spot dipping at the chocolate fountain.
yes. CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!
i was like CHOCOLATE 0.0 .
the marshmallow chocolate fountain thingy kept on going in my mind the whole day.
i swear.
Then when we finally reach there after school,
the stall was not yet open.
i pissed off.
but WTH.
there is still tomorow.
haha.
& biology test was okay.
Physics test i copied rafidah.
i didnt even know one single freaking thing.
history was in mind of our own world.
miss natasha was like "THREE GIRLS IN FRONT! im so sure you are stuck in your own world & Rafidah stop drawing!" hahha. i laughed.
My everytime Miss Natasha say HITLER it attracts my attention;
then when she go war guilt clause, blah blah blah.
i go back to looking at empty bottles.
-_- bore.
haha

SO yeahs.
KRANJI IDOL AUDITIONS STINKS.
4 soloist singer that audition only .
maybe there is still more.
Farahin was the first one.
It set off a nervous tone then she sore like the birds baybeh.
she sang SUPERHUMAN.
i love it.
(:
it was AWESOME farahin ;
need no worry cause the others stinks.
i hope you & rifdi gets to the semi-finals or finals (:
RIFDI is a nigguh.
random.
well he rapped nicely &smoothly.
great job. Kanye west will go boom boom head (compliment)
if he were there.
haha
(: splendid job guys.
MOST LUCKS TO YOU GUYS.
and shoo the other silent two people who considered singing.
no offence.
*craft a smile.

& eating LJS with sasha & fidd was fun(:
really.
i laugh my arse out.

&told ya. i have no mood outs.
UNTIL NIGHT FALLS.
night falls shit.
bull-shit.
chicken-shit.
dinah syaza binte roslan
i love friends(:

DANCE PRACTICE AHEAD.
YAY.
WITH YASIN GROUP & ZIMAH.
PLUS hetty is coming down for singing lesson. lol.
time for me to release every emotions yeah!(:
so i get to meet HETTY & ZIMAH
plus all the people i miss.

Note : buy WHITE CHIP MACADAMIA SUBWAY COOKIES!
(:
with even more love,
deedee
the re-new un-human.

ultraman; searching.

2.33am
110309
Currently: tuning in to let go by ne-yo

geminate me to love back again.