DEFINE LOVE, PLEASE
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Photobucket Dinah Syaza
280193
Quirky.
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ultra.dee@hotmail.com

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Thursday, February 26, 2009, 7:46 AM


JUST SAY; kedondong alright?
sigh*


waiting equals piercing.
i'll wait for the right.
even if its start from a fight.
nothing compare the love i held deep inside.
just waiting for it to unleash.
it was just a feeling i couldnt simply control.
Just a random emotion that always occur(:

i know life aint easy.
like pooping a STUCK shit in your ass-hole.
eew;deena! you are disgusting.
force it way out.
-_-
i know.
these days i've been sighing alot.
sleeping alot at school.
simply because at night i began my restless times.
i hate it.
Ive been sick.
& i thought i was okay
perhaps i was not,
wondering & thinking too much lately.
i wish i had nothing to think about.
i wanted to be more happier.
i wanted to be more perfect.
i can't.
somehow im being someone im not.
pretending.
behind all these smiles & laughter.
maybe there is a little bit of happiness when i see someone i love is smiling.
Well; thats okay
not did i care about myself.
I always put my love ones first.
they a precious to me.
Losing them feels like losing my organs.
imagination.
I hate the rain and at the same time loving it.
Rainy season; i shall say.
Raindrops & the water.
plus the cold windy weather;
calm me.
& after rain; there's rainbow(:
sunshine of all time.
The wet weather somehow made me think deeper.
Made me a little more sensitive.
i hope.
or shall i say;
i am sensitive.
haha.
but i am more towards the confusing type.
dilemma some sort.
friends hate to shop with me.
i tend to choose something really slow.
or just return to the same place; again & again
figuring out whether to buy it.
I am that;
hard to make the right decision'
simply because i am afraid of the circumtances might turn out to be.
im a coward;
i tend to always take step behind let others be infront.
i rather stay in shadow.
im afraid what people might think.
too afraid of everything.
but somehow;
the fear fade away if any of my love one needs me.
i always did try to stand up strong for them.
in times; they dissapoint me.
& they kill me by the back.
But that was the past;
i learnt new things everyday.

now im am bored.
& feel like vomitting.
shit.
i crave chocolates & nougats.
desserts.
that can make be high & happy.

panadols aint working for me.
why do i have to be sick.

"cause maybe i would be the one the seeing you lay on the floor showing your abs to me;
how proud you are with your absolute hard-throbbing body that you work you ass of."
phrase i caught my eyes some where.

deedee:
a little bit of another sigh.



12.39am
27feb09
currently: sighing more and more.
tuning in to beyone-halo.